Slowly But Surely 

In life I've learnt that nothing happens over night. I often craved this EUREKA moment where suddenly my life will come together like a small and simple jigsaw puzzle. Now I realise that much like those 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles I struggled with as a child, life is complicated. It requires patience beyond any level you've been taught. It takes time for things to happen and everything happens for [probably more than one] reason.

The past month has been hectic, full of changes and full of new things. Firstly, I graduated, and what an incredible moment in my life that was. Secondly, I got myself a job as a Legal Secretary, after heaps of rejections for vacation schemes. This was the moment I realised that not everyone is programmed to jump straight into a training contract, and that is 100% OK. Throughout my first couple of weeks as a Legal Secretary, I have spoken to so many practicing solicitors and paralegals who have told me that they took time out after their law degree and had absolutely no idea what they wanted to do.

So, to all those budding lawyers out there, with absolutely no idea what path they want to go down, where they want to train or even where to do their law degree/LPC/GDL, just know that it is ok to be confused. It's ok to take your time, to get your bearings and to really understand yourself. On the other side of the spectrum, it's also ok to know exactly where you want to go with your legal career and it's ok to jump straight into your LPC. Everyone has their own preference and that's why there are so many hundreds of options out there for us.

I for one made the mistake of panicking because I was jobless, with a lack of legal experience. Little did I know that it was my life experience, my approach, my ethics and my personality that would get me where I am today. I can't say (yet) that I absolutely love my job, but I can say I enjoy it. I might get tired of copying a 3000 page bundle but I most certainly find the content interesting. Being able to build my experience by using the experience and knowledge of others is a great opportunity. I'm doing things and learning things I've never done before. For the first time I read a licence (those things I got confused about in Land Law), I know how documents are sealed, how case management systems work and how all of the cogs in law fit together as one.

I want everyone to know that no matter where you are in life, no matter what career you want to follow, no matter where your heart lies, if you follow your dreams, you will take yourself there. It might not be the fantasy you see in the movies, but I promise you, every step will be worth the end result. When you see things falling together, don't forget to count your blessings. Thank those around you for their support and keep aiming high. Don't let anything or anyone put you down. Keep striving.

Throughout my life, in all that I have applied for, I've faced at least 50 rejections. But I'm still going because I know I'll fit in somewhere. There is a place for everyone and right now, I've found my place as a legal secretary. I'm moving upwards, slowly but surely, climbing the ladder of success, in rain and shine.

All love xoxo

Morals: mine, yours, ours?

Morals. We all have them, they shape our behaviour, they often dictate what we do in life and how we view what others do. Yet one thing I despise is the attempt made by many people to impose their moral views on others. Why do I say this? Because morals dictate what is right or wrong to YOU. Of course we see that society embodies collectively agreed upon morals such as the respect for other peoples property or personal information. This is often reflected in the law too, this is what Aquinas calls ‘Natural Law Theory’ and we can clearly see this in, for example, Human Rights law, the laws on theft and of course, the law on murder.

So whilst we have these collectively acknowledged/accepted morals, there will be people who deviate from them, for example, criminals. Furthermore, some people have different morals, like I said, your morals dictate what is right or wrong for YOU. You draw on your own experience and upbringing to form your own morals, hence we always say 'the moral of the story is...'. Nothing gives any person the right to assert their morals as above and beyond the morals of others.

No Standard is the Same Standard

Beauty standards are everything but equal. What is beautiful to me might be ugly to you. I personally believe that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. We only have to do a quick Google search to reveal the different beauty ideals and standards from across the world. Heck even in the UK, we see so many different ideals according to where we are or which social group we talk to! A great quote from The Alchemist by Paulo Cohello sums this up: “someday you'll learn that our countryside is the best, and our women the most beautiful.”

I asked a couple of my friends what is beautiful to them and this is what they had to say:

Victoria Reeves, female, 21, Law Student and Athlete: Well for me it goes beyond pure looks and is more to do with personality and that people are nice and kind and funny, and in the long run that's more beautiful than any physical beauty but if we are going on looks *points to Orlando Bloom*

Idris Mussa, male, 26, Sales Assistant at The Perfume Shop: See when I think of beautiful I always think of women but obviously there’s more to it than just that.. someone's personality can be beautiful or someone who is always there for you is beautiful. Today in society people won't look past things, they see what they see and judge… if you just take a little time to get to know someone they can be really beautiful if you understand.. It's not what you see but what you think that makes something beautiful..

Amandeep Singh, male, 21, Politics & Sociology Student: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you find beautiful is something completely different to me.. It’s a very difficult question.. I’m not sure!

I chose these three people because they come from different backgrounds, yet each one of them was born and raised in the UK. They sum up just how many definitions can be attributed to beauty and how the ideals on beauty can be varied across even such a small group of individuals. Take this and apply it to the world. I cannot even begin to think about how many different ideals spring to mind. The last quote is my favourite because it demonstrates how impossible it is to ever define what is beautiful.

The true inspiration behind this post comes from a recent encounter I had with someone very close to me. I don’t feel like sharing exactly what happened but when it did happen, I truly felt a little ounce of hope leave me and I realised just how much the media ideals of beauty and attractiveness affect us. Not only are we influenced by the media in what we begin to find attractive but also how we view ourselves. Now, I do not intend to go into the psychological effects of the media on our own body image because I am sure most of us are aware that the effects can span mountains.

Aside from poverty, deprivation, abuse and all other horrific things in life, if there was one thing I could change or influence in the world, it would be beauty standards, self appreciation and image perception. It hurts me to hear people telling me they think they aren’t ‘attractive’ because, whilst I am probably guilty of it myself, I believe there is beauty in everyone. No matter what you look like, the beauty lies within you. When we look at ourselves, we need to forget what we see on the catwalk, we need to let go of what we find on the cover of vogue, because that is not who we are.

I am not denying that models are beautiful. They are chosen based on their looks, their walk, their height, their weight, their build. In that industry, beauty in the crudest sense of the word is what matters most. But life is not an industry. Life is beyond that. Life is about experiences, memories, adventures, conversations, emotions. How we deal with these things is what makes us the beautiful people we are. You might get into an argument with someone in school, with a colleague at work or even a family member/friend. Nevertheless, somewhere within that person is inner beauty. Inner beauty that someone else might have seen or maybe inner beauty that you might see one day.

I think that society has progressed to appreciate the differences in outward beauty. We now see models of colour along with plus size models, walking the catwalk, showing us that it is ok to embrace who we are, because the world is full of so many different shapes, sizes, colours, and most importantly, beauty. A Favourite Marilyn Monroe quote of mine is “Everyone’s a star that deserves the right to twinkle” and for my entire life, I will stand by this. Because that is what we all are in this world, BEAUTIFUL STARS WHO SHOULD SHINE IN OUR OWN RIGHT!

Never let anyone tell you that you are not beautiful because their beauty does not have to be your beauty. Your beauty will be someone else’s beauty one day and they will cherish that. They will love every single piece of you, from the inside out. Never let the words of others stop you from being who you are. We do not live in a world of identical ideals but a world of differences, differences we all need to learn to appreciate and embrace with open arms.

All love xoxo

The Game Changer

So, I’ve been struggling for a while to think of anything half decent to write about and today, as I took in the vibes on campus, I realised what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about change. Life changes, the game changers in life, the things that flip everything upside down or right side up. It is ironic that as I write this, the Beko TV advert just mentioned how life can be full of changes.

My inspirations comes from the period of time it is for most universities at the moment; campaign season. It’s the time where the future faces of the Students’ Union at every university is elected. Honestly it is just like a political campaign season, there is rallying and shouting and chasing. People fight so hard to get your vote and as students, we only vote for the people whose proposed changes we like.

Most people have had a life changing moment once or twice, or maybe more, in life. Whether it was finding religion, finding your inner self, finding the love of your life or finding you dream job, or even losing someone you love the most, almost everyone knows what it feels like to have a huge change in life. For me, some of my most life changings moments were getting accepted to study law at university and moving away from home, breaking up with my ex and going to India.

These moments were pivotal for me because they came with a huge houseful of emotions, introduced new people into my life and opened my eyes up to the world. If these things, along with others of course, had not occurred when they did, I know my life would be immensely different.

But why do we fear change? Why is it that so many of us prefer to be comfortable in what we know? Is it the fear of losing what we had to something or someone we don’t know or is it the uncertainty of what lies ahead?

My life experience has taught me to embrace change and I have learnt that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, it will get better. The slog to get there may of course be immensely difficult but once we find that silver lining in the grey cloud that has been held over our head for so long, it will be worth it.

Change to me, now means a breath of fresh air. At this moment in time, the biggest change I am fearing is graduation because that signifies the end of university and the beginning of reality. Everyone says that going to university prepares you for your career and for the real world but honestly, you still remain in a sheltered environment, fearing the reality of the working world. It’s not that we become complacent but just that we become comfortable. Being a student is by no means easy, you have to juggle the financial struggles it throws at you (and yes, we do have financial struggles because money is not thrown at us) and you have to get the balance between a social life and education just right because, tip the scales either way and you’ll be in trouble. Some people juggle a job at the same time as completing their degree and I admire those people because I can just about hold down my social life whilst studying. The problem is that we become comfortable with these struggles and we don’t feel prepared for the struggles of finding a job and having something other than revision and readings to complete. It’s similar to the jump from college to university, but bigger, with a heap load more of responsibility and pressure (because everyone assumes that getting a job with a degree under your belt is easy BUT IT IS NOT).

Anyway, I think the point I’m trying to make is that, maybe if we stopped fearing change so much, we’d be willing to take a few more risks and stop stopping ourselves.

I know that even though I fear the change that comes with graduation, I look forward to the doors it will open. That I can have a little more flexibility in life is definitely something to look forward to and I will embrace the fact that the past 3 years struggling and pulling my hair out to study law will have (hopefully) got me a good degree.

Without change in life, we run the risk of becoming robots functioning to a routine we passively accept with no emotion. All those feelings you face when you feel a change approaching, fear, anger, sadness, happiness, gratitude, that is what makes us appreciate change. However, sometimes we need to open up our minds to the idea of change, embrace whatever good we know will come out of it and stop denying that change is good sometimes.

I often think of changes in life as a new pair of clothes; you try them on to make sure they fit before you’re 100% satisfied with how they look and sometimes, you go back to the store to trade them for something else or a different size. Evidently, it is not that easy to adjust the changes we face in life but we must remember, it is out life, whatever we want we can shape and guide. We can’t dictate the change but we can be there to guide it towards the path we want to follow.

Never forget that the power lies in your hands (and in the hands of God/ another supreme power if that is what you believe in) so don’t be afraid to do what you want, when you want, even if it is not the status quo, because CHANGE IS GOOD!

All love xoxo
P.S. Major change - I turned 21 today! 

Carpe Diem

Yet again it's been a while since my last blog but this time it's because I got so caught up in living in my own little bubble that I lost track of time!

If you've kept up with my recent posts you'll know I've finished by January exams and I am definitely so glad they are over but now it's the period of anticipation for results! Anyway, given that I've had so much going on in my life and then going home to spend time with my family gave me time to reflect on things a title so today's blood is about the opportunities of life, successes, downfalls and all the rest of it!

When I went back home for a few days after my exams, I sat my driving test and I was fortunate enough to pass!! The feeling of joy at that moment was immense but what was even more overwhelming was my feeling of gratitude for the fact that I was able to take driving lessons and my test. I was even more grateful toward my driving instructor who, as a friend if my dad, had given me free driving lessons, and I know for sure that I was not the easiest person to teach to drive!!

Making the most of every opportunity I am presented with in life is something I always strive to do and last year (2015) I realised how much of a benefit this has served me in life. In 2015, I commenced my application for the Generation UK-India Study India Programme run by Indogenius on behalf of the British Council.

In 2014, I had begun an application for the 2014 trip however, for some reason, maybe I got side-tracked and totally forgot about the application, I did not continue it. When I received an email saying that applications had opened for the 2015 programme, I told myself I would apply straight away so I set myself a timeline for application and completed it in good time. There was no way I was going to miss out on the opportunity to Study India with all expenses (except my flight) paid for. I was lucky enough to be one of the 500 selected participants for the programme, meaning that in July, I would be jetting off to India. It was the first time I was ever going to sit on an aeroplane, and the first time I was ever going to visit the country my ancestors are in love with. Little did I know that I would fall in love with the country myself. I not only discovered the beauty and amazing features of India, but I learnt a lot about people, about life and about the world.

Attending this programme was a prime example of me making the most of every opportunity I am presented with. However, this was not the only time I have done this because, without taking the opportunity to apply to University, I would not be sat where I am, feeling stressed, fulfilled and most importantly, HAPPY.

When we talk about carpe diem (seize the day) we often think about the big opportunities in life, the things that will make us successful in life. In my opinion, this fogs our visions, causing us to miss the opportunities that are right in front of us. When I talk about seizing the day and every opportunity you are presented with, I don’t mean think about your success, what I’m saying is, take that opportunity to talk to someone new, grab your chance to held that old lady cross the road, help the little boy get across on his bike, take the chance to take care of your friends, your mother, your father, your sister, your brother. In life, those are the opportunities we cannot afford to miss! Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Who knows when you’ll get another chance to tell your mother, lover or brother that you love them?

If there is one thing I have learnt in my experience of life so far, it is definitely that I will never leave the house without telling my mum I love her, I will never waste time sitting in silence instead of saying sorry to someone. Time is precious in everything we do and of course, there will always be situations where we can’t help but waste time because, well that’s human nature, it’s ‘in our genes’. We aren’t build like the animal kingdom who live to survive. We live to work and work to survive.

Don’t get me wrong, in life we definitely need to take risks. If someone asks you to go sky diving with them, do it! They’ll hold your hand and comfort your fears if you’re afraid but don’t let your fear stop you. Don’t let money stop you! My parents have always told me “where there’s a will there is a way” and coming from a working class background, money has never been readily available for us to travel the world or do whatever we want however, there has never been a time in life where my parents have said “no you can’t do that because we don’t have the money for it”. My parents have always found a way to make ends meet and to give me and my siblings the great life we live.

For whoever is reading this blog, I want you to know that whatever your dream is, you can do it! No matter how much people ridicule you and out you down, telling you that you can’t do it, I’m telling you that you can! Put yourself out there! Do the things you dream of every night! Even if you want to tell the boy in your class you fancy the pants off him, do it!! Never ever let the opinions of other put you down and stop you from doing what you love. Without this mind set, I would be sitting on my bed, drowning in tears worrying about how I’m ever going to get a job as a lawyer. I know that if I want something, I have to go out there and I have to get it. No one can do it for me. I’ve taken every opportunity to be my best self, to experience life at its best and I WILL CONTINUE! Now it’s your turn, go and do something you’ve always wanted to do. If no one will support you, I WILL!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!

All love xoxo

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever - Mahatma Ghandi