No Standard is the Same Standard

Beauty standards are everything but equal. What is beautiful to me might be ugly to you. I personally believe that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. We only have to do a quick Google search to reveal the different beauty ideals and standards from across the world. Heck even in the UK, we see so many different ideals according to where we are or which social group we talk to! A great quote from The Alchemist by Paulo Cohello sums this up: “someday you'll learn that our countryside is the best, and our women the most beautiful.”

I asked a couple of my friends what is beautiful to them and this is what they had to say:

Victoria Reeves, female, 21, Law Student and Athlete: Well for me it goes beyond pure looks and is more to do with personality and that people are nice and kind and funny, and in the long run that's more beautiful than any physical beauty but if we are going on looks *points to Orlando Bloom*

Idris Mussa, male, 26, Sales Assistant at The Perfume Shop: See when I think of beautiful I always think of women but obviously there’s more to it than just that.. someone's personality can be beautiful or someone who is always there for you is beautiful. Today in society people won't look past things, they see what they see and judge… if you just take a little time to get to know someone they can be really beautiful if you understand.. It's not what you see but what you think that makes something beautiful..

Amandeep Singh, male, 21, Politics & Sociology Student: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you find beautiful is something completely different to me.. It’s a very difficult question.. I’m not sure!

I chose these three people because they come from different backgrounds, yet each one of them was born and raised in the UK. They sum up just how many definitions can be attributed to beauty and how the ideals on beauty can be varied across even such a small group of individuals. Take this and apply it to the world. I cannot even begin to think about how many different ideals spring to mind. The last quote is my favourite because it demonstrates how impossible it is to ever define what is beautiful.

The true inspiration behind this post comes from a recent encounter I had with someone very close to me. I don’t feel like sharing exactly what happened but when it did happen, I truly felt a little ounce of hope leave me and I realised just how much the media ideals of beauty and attractiveness affect us. Not only are we influenced by the media in what we begin to find attractive but also how we view ourselves. Now, I do not intend to go into the psychological effects of the media on our own body image because I am sure most of us are aware that the effects can span mountains.

Aside from poverty, deprivation, abuse and all other horrific things in life, if there was one thing I could change or influence in the world, it would be beauty standards, self appreciation and image perception. It hurts me to hear people telling me they think they aren’t ‘attractive’ because, whilst I am probably guilty of it myself, I believe there is beauty in everyone. No matter what you look like, the beauty lies within you. When we look at ourselves, we need to forget what we see on the catwalk, we need to let go of what we find on the cover of vogue, because that is not who we are.

I am not denying that models are beautiful. They are chosen based on their looks, their walk, their height, their weight, their build. In that industry, beauty in the crudest sense of the word is what matters most. But life is not an industry. Life is beyond that. Life is about experiences, memories, adventures, conversations, emotions. How we deal with these things is what makes us the beautiful people we are. You might get into an argument with someone in school, with a colleague at work or even a family member/friend. Nevertheless, somewhere within that person is inner beauty. Inner beauty that someone else might have seen or maybe inner beauty that you might see one day.

I think that society has progressed to appreciate the differences in outward beauty. We now see models of colour along with plus size models, walking the catwalk, showing us that it is ok to embrace who we are, because the world is full of so many different shapes, sizes, colours, and most importantly, beauty. A Favourite Marilyn Monroe quote of mine is “Everyone’s a star that deserves the right to twinkle” and for my entire life, I will stand by this. Because that is what we all are in this world, BEAUTIFUL STARS WHO SHOULD SHINE IN OUR OWN RIGHT!

Never let anyone tell you that you are not beautiful because their beauty does not have to be your beauty. Your beauty will be someone else’s beauty one day and they will cherish that. They will love every single piece of you, from the inside out. Never let the words of others stop you from being who you are. We do not live in a world of identical ideals but a world of differences, differences we all need to learn to appreciate and embrace with open arms.

All love xoxo

GOSH Cosmetics

One of my favourite lipliners right now is the GOSH lip liner in 'Antique Rose'. When I first purchased this lip liner about a year ago, I didn't quite like it because I felt that it has quite a stick consistency but now, I have grown to like it and have found that applying a tiny bit of Vaseline on my lips just before I apply the lip liner really does help.

Whenever I wear lip liner, I tend to use it to colour my entire lip rather than just line my lip, so I do use quite a liberal amount. One of the reasons I really like this GOSH lipliner is because I don't have to use a lot to get a good coverage. Generally I coat my lips about 2/3 times in whatever lipstick/lip liner  I am using and I find that with the GOSH liner, 2 coats is more than enough to last the entire day without re applying! The pencil is soft yet solid so it goes on easily and doesn't snap easily. It gives good coverage and sometimes if I feel that my lips are a tiny bit sticky, I simply apply a tiny (and I mean TINY!) amount of vaseline over the lipliner and it gives my lips a nice soft feeling!

I would definitely recommend this lip liner to anyone who likes the colour. It is also very affordable and available in high street stores like Boots and Superdrug! I love the look of this lip liner for everyday wear, especially if you want a slightly nude/pinky look!!

All love xoxo

Is it a Bush or is That My Hair?

In my previous posts, I have mentioned how much I love to look after my hair a. This is something that has always been a part of my life but increasingly more over the past few years.

When I was younger, absolutely hated my hair because it was so bushy, so frizzy and I just had SO MUCH hair! It would take me around 3 hours to straighten my hair and at most times this was just not practical so I would often just tie my hair up.

With such a big family, I was always envious of all of the women/girls in my family with manageable hair and I grew up watching my mum straighten her hair with such little effort. As I grew older and started experimenting with my hair, I realised how much of a blessing it was to have so much hair but now, it takes me a maximum of 30 minutes to straighten my hair.

I have seen my hair beginning to thin out over the years because, in my first year of university, it took me at least an hour to straighten my hair. I do begin to wonder whether I should lay off the straightening, given that I straighten my hair at least once a day. My worries about having any hair left by the time I am 30, led me to experiment with heatless hairstyles and to use less harsh chemicals on my hair.

I quite often find that I have breakouts of dandruff (I think most people do) particularly when it is cold. I used to use head and shoulders in my hair but one year, when I went to the glorious T4 On The Beach, being in the sun for an entire day meant that I burned my scalp. As a result, I had to pay a visit to my GP who prescribed the most disgusting cream she could find. Since these events, I have never managed to get rid of my dandruff and have been through various shampoos, including T-Gel (which smells awful too).

I soon began to gave up with my hair and reverted back to the Pantene Pro-V my mum used. Then I switched to L’oreal Elvive Triple Resist and 4 years later, I am still recommending it to everyone! I use both the shampoo and conditioner of this range and believe that it has worked absolute wonders in my hair! Not only does it smell great (and the smell lasts after blow-drying and straightening) but it makes my hair feels so soft and it tames it too! I can now happily leave my hair to dry naturally and be happy with the curls I have!

Like I said, I try not to use too many harsh chemicals on my hair and so, to keep my hair nourished, I use baby oil in the ends of my hair at least twice a week, applying it before bed so that it is nicely soaked in and grease free by the morning. Coconut oil is also another great thing to use in your hair. I find that coconut oil works best when it is massaged into the scalp for at least 5 minutes and then left over night or at least for one hour. Olive oil, slightly warmed up, is also another great source of nutrient for your hair however I personally find olive oil to be too greasy on my hair.

Another huge point about keeping your hair healthy, which I think is often understated by too many people, is regular haircuts. I know some people who leave their hair for about a year before they get it cut but I personally can never leave my hair that long. I don’t say this because I have some moral objection to leaving your hair for that long, but rather because the ends of my hair simply cannot withstand such an amount of time. I used to get my hair cut every 3 months but after watching a load of youtube videos and plucking up my own courage, I got hold of a comb, some scissors and a towel, and went in for the chop myself. I explicitly remember the first time I cut my hair; it was last year (2015) before my criminal law exam! I remember my friends telling me how stressed out they were and my response being ‘I was so stressed I couldn’t revise so I cut my hair instead’ needless to say, they thought I was crazy.

Now, I cut my hair as and when I need to, because I have all the tools to do it myself. I have definitely seen that cutting my hair myself and using various oils on my hair has helped my hair stay healthy and it has also allowed me to maintain it at the length I want. I absolutely hated going to the hairdressers and coming out with 10 inches off my hair when I had told them to only take off 2 inches.

I wouldn’t ever recommend that we all ditch the hairdressers and start cutting our own hair, but I would say that you should not be afraid of trying. If you are in the awkward months of waiting to get your hair cut and you think your ends could do with a little trim, just go ahead and try it if you feel confident enough. I would definitely suggest watching some youtube videos beforehand; the beauty guru I learned from was Carli Bybel.

I think the golden rule to remember is that your hair is as precious as your skin and everyone’s hair, just like their skin, if different. Your scalp is sensitive to different things than those your best friend’s scalp is sensitive to. Try out different shampoos/conditioners before you settle for one that you love. One discovery I recently made was the Manuka Honey Rescue Mask (link below) which has honey, coconut oil and other ingredients in. It was so incredibly easy to use, you simply wash your hair (I shampooed mine), put the contents of the packet onto your hair just as you would a face mask, and after about 5 minutes, rinse the mask out! My hair felt incredible and has felt great even after I have washed my hair. It felt soft, nourished and lovely and thick and considering I had been going through a patch of badly damaged hair due to the blistering cold winds, I was very pleased to see that my hair had been rescued!!

If you have any questions about hair care or anything else, comment below or tweet me at @_Inayahh or message me on Instagram @inayahhhh

All love xoxo

Manuka Honey Hair Mask: http://groceries.asda.com/product/intensive-conditioner-masks/montagne-jeunesse-7th-heaven-manuka-honey-rescue-masque/910001945639

***Disclaimer: I think big hair is beautiful but I just hated it on me and I was unable to handle it! My comments are a preference as to how I prefer my own hair and by no means represent a preference of hair type in general***

A downer?

So, I’ve recently been in the process of sending out applications to a load of law firms because I’m trying to land the dream job at a corporate firm – it is no joke when they say it is a dream!!

There are days when you look at your application and think it is the greatest thing in the world and then there are the days when you realise it is a total pile of rubbish. Unfortunately for me, after I got some feedback on my application today, I realised how big of a pile of rubbish it really was. I sat for hours editing my application in the hope that I would finish with a gleaming piece about myself however, here I am, at 23:53 listening to sad love songs, thinking about how disappointing my application still is.

The process of an application is not at all easy. If you are the kind of person that likes to talk about your successes and accomplishments, you will have a field day filling out an application, even more so if you have an amazing way with words. I, on the other hand, am the type of person who is seemingly incapable of talking about my successes to feed my ego. For some reason, I lose all ability to construct a sentence when I try and talk about anything remotely positive about my achievements.

You see, it is not just a case of telling the firm what you have done but it is why you have done it, why it was something you feel is worth talking about, what you learnt from it and why you are now such an incredible person because of it!

I keep telling myself it will be ok. There will be a day when all of this application stuff just CLICKS but 7/8 rejected applications later, I am still struggling.

I felt like I wanted to share this because, no matter how much we might sit here and think ‘wow that person has a great job at this amazing organisation’ it is more than likely that it was a hard slog for them to get there.

I am determined to make it one day, I want to make it one day and I WILL make it one day… I just hope that day is sooner rather than later. I apologise for the lack of coherent thought and productivity of this blog; I just needed a break before I started crying to ‘Dilemma’ by Nelly and Kelly.

To all those students staying up through the hard run of the night, I applaud you. To anyone waking up for a crazy shift, or anyone awake in any part of the world, good morning, good afternoon or good night.

Here is my one motivation for anyone who might need it or knows someone that might need it:

<3

All love xoxo

The Game Changer

So, I’ve been struggling for a while to think of anything half decent to write about and today, as I took in the vibes on campus, I realised what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about change. Life changes, the game changers in life, the things that flip everything upside down or right side up. It is ironic that as I write this, the Beko TV advert just mentioned how life can be full of changes.

My inspirations comes from the period of time it is for most universities at the moment; campaign season. It’s the time where the future faces of the Students’ Union at every university is elected. Honestly it is just like a political campaign season, there is rallying and shouting and chasing. People fight so hard to get your vote and as students, we only vote for the people whose proposed changes we like.

Most people have had a life changing moment once or twice, or maybe more, in life. Whether it was finding religion, finding your inner self, finding the love of your life or finding you dream job, or even losing someone you love the most, almost everyone knows what it feels like to have a huge change in life. For me, some of my most life changings moments were getting accepted to study law at university and moving away from home, breaking up with my ex and going to India.

These moments were pivotal for me because they came with a huge houseful of emotions, introduced new people into my life and opened my eyes up to the world. If these things, along with others of course, had not occurred when they did, I know my life would be immensely different.

But why do we fear change? Why is it that so many of us prefer to be comfortable in what we know? Is it the fear of losing what we had to something or someone we don’t know or is it the uncertainty of what lies ahead?

My life experience has taught me to embrace change and I have learnt that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, it will get better. The slog to get there may of course be immensely difficult but once we find that silver lining in the grey cloud that has been held over our head for so long, it will be worth it.

Change to me, now means a breath of fresh air. At this moment in time, the biggest change I am fearing is graduation because that signifies the end of university and the beginning of reality. Everyone says that going to university prepares you for your career and for the real world but honestly, you still remain in a sheltered environment, fearing the reality of the working world. It’s not that we become complacent but just that we become comfortable. Being a student is by no means easy, you have to juggle the financial struggles it throws at you (and yes, we do have financial struggles because money is not thrown at us) and you have to get the balance between a social life and education just right because, tip the scales either way and you’ll be in trouble. Some people juggle a job at the same time as completing their degree and I admire those people because I can just about hold down my social life whilst studying. The problem is that we become comfortable with these struggles and we don’t feel prepared for the struggles of finding a job and having something other than revision and readings to complete. It’s similar to the jump from college to university, but bigger, with a heap load more of responsibility and pressure (because everyone assumes that getting a job with a degree under your belt is easy BUT IT IS NOT).

Anyway, I think the point I’m trying to make is that, maybe if we stopped fearing change so much, we’d be willing to take a few more risks and stop stopping ourselves.

I know that even though I fear the change that comes with graduation, I look forward to the doors it will open. That I can have a little more flexibility in life is definitely something to look forward to and I will embrace the fact that the past 3 years struggling and pulling my hair out to study law will have (hopefully) got me a good degree.

Without change in life, we run the risk of becoming robots functioning to a routine we passively accept with no emotion. All those feelings you face when you feel a change approaching, fear, anger, sadness, happiness, gratitude, that is what makes us appreciate change. However, sometimes we need to open up our minds to the idea of change, embrace whatever good we know will come out of it and stop denying that change is good sometimes.

I often think of changes in life as a new pair of clothes; you try them on to make sure they fit before you’re 100% satisfied with how they look and sometimes, you go back to the store to trade them for something else or a different size. Evidently, it is not that easy to adjust the changes we face in life but we must remember, it is out life, whatever we want we can shape and guide. We can’t dictate the change but we can be there to guide it towards the path we want to follow.

Never forget that the power lies in your hands (and in the hands of God/ another supreme power if that is what you believe in) so don’t be afraid to do what you want, when you want, even if it is not the status quo, because CHANGE IS GOOD!

All love xoxo
P.S. Major change - I turned 21 today!